Category Archives: Satire

What are the non-Deaf? (Warning – heavily satirical)

What are non-Deaf people?
These unfortunate people can only use their ears, often instead of their eyes, to pick up many different signals from around them and decode them. 
Many of these signals, called “sounds” or “noises”, are of no consequence, including many of the ones made by their mouths and throats. These are called “voice” or “words” or “talking” and are used to convey messages to each other. Different tones may be used to add meaning to these messages but often the meanings are lost because non-deaf people are busy deciding what words will come out of their mouths before the non-Deaf talking to them have finished conveying their message. 
Other sounds are used to warn non-Deaf people of things that are happening, because they don’t pay enough attention to what is going on around them and don’t use enough visual signals like flashing lights or vibrating alarms. 
Most non-Deaf people don’t understand sign language and it’s very sad for them because they miss out on so much of the beauty of sign language and Deaf culture. It is very important for people born non-Deaf to be diagnosed early and learn to sign as soon as possible so they can understand Deaf people. Once they can sign, they can go to a school with Deaf people and other people who can sign and may even manage to learn at the same pace and perhaps get some kind of gainful employment once they leave school. 
Another option, which can make learning sign easier by removing the conflicting effects of sound, is to remove the hearing nerves altogether. This is major surgery but the effects can be miraculous and allow non-Deaf people access to all the benefits those born Deaf have.